Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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