p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
