everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
