We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
