They should really pass out barf bags in church
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
