Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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