Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I bet he comes in French.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
