Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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