I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We left an ass print on the piano.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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