I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You pole danced in your parka.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
