you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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