I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
