I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
