Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
