woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
