theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
