I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize