i think i have two assholes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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