I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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