You smell like a Billy Joel song
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
