You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this just has baby written all over it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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