yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
