oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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