If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
