He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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