do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
