Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
whose parrot is this?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
