you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
