Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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