Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
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At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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