my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
