i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
