...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
