Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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