woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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