do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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