If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
