So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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