I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
