WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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