if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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