just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize