did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize