There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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