im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
