So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
