Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
