I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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