google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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