I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
