I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
