chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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