It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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