We're like a lot better than the average bears
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
