I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
