stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
